I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
