Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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