I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just want nice things and good sex
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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