About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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