I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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