I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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