Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
