hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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