You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Green mimosas i think yes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
