so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
