Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
