you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
