She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
