They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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