Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
