I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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