Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
