it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
