brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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