The maid of honor just puked.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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