I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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