i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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