i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
