I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
