the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
