I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
