yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
