Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
