But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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