he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
