So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
