it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
