whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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