He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
