respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
