She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
this will be a night to untag.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
