that's an acceptable place to lick
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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