I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Im part way to drunk.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
