Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
