I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
