so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
