definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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