you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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