1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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