I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
