I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
