You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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