all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
