I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
