margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
