the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize