i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
