I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
