After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
