Im at strip club and am horny
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
do herpes really smell.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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