escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize