Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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