I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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