Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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