I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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