He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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