things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
