I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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