I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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