Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
