ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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