best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
