I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
