Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
